Calling all night shifters and those lucky enough to love us. I’ve been a night shift nurse for almost eight years. While I absolutely love nights, I know working the late shift can make all the logistics in your non-work life a little more complicated. Relationships are no exception to that! Working opposite shifts can make it seem difficult to find time for each other, but I’m here to tell you it won’t be as bad as you think! I’m going to share my best advice on how you can prioritize your relationship when working completely opposite hours.
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Make Time Before And After Your Shift
When you’re working long overnight shifts, you get into a sleep – work – sleep cycle that basically becomes a survival tool. You know what I’m talking about. You get home, fall into bed, pass out, and wake up with enough time to grab some coffee and get yourself out the door for your next shift. There are absolutely days where you really do need that sleep over everything else, but I think it’s important to try to dedicate a bit of time to your SO on these days when you can.
You don’t have to stay up late and get up early every day by any means, but even thirty minutes with your sweetie will make a difference. If you prefer staying up a little while after work, you can have a cup of sleepy time tea while your SO drinks their coffee. This is a great time to chat about your night and connect with them before they start their work day.
If you’re already half asleep on the way home or your sweetie has already left for work, getting up a little early might work better for you. I typically wake up around 4pm for my 7p-7a shift, which gives me plenty of time to have a cup of coffee and a meal with my boyfriend. Some days I’ll sleep a little later, but I always try to make sure we have at least a little time together before I leave. For me, it just feels like a good way to start my day and gives me a little normalcy before I walk into the craziness of my shift.
Plan Dates At Least Every 1-2 Weeks
Spontaneity is sexy, but it’s also a little more difficult when you’re working opposite schedules. We certainly still have lots of “what are we getting into today” dates, but it’s nice to have some planned date days on the books as well. Date day doesn’t have to be anything fancy, the point is just to prioritize spending time together. You can have a dinner date, a breakfast date after your last night shift, a picnic, or do something fun around town.
Planning out your time together is also nice because it gives you something to look forward to when you’re on a long run of night shifts and feeling like there’s no end in sight. Don’t overthink this! I’m writing this before I head into night 3/3, and tomorrow my boyfriend and I have solid plans to order dinner in and watch a movie after he finishes work. Like I said, it doesn’t have to be fancy, but it’s something I’ll be looking forward to tonight!
Do The Little Things Together
When you’re working nights, everything becomes a logistical balancing act. When can I schedule all the appointments I need to get to? What will I meal prep for work meals? How late is the grocery store open?! I’ve found that it’s helpful (and way more fun) to do some of these little things with my boyfriend. I know most couples probably don’t grocery shop together, but for us it’s just one more way to hang out when we’re both off. We make a date of it and usually go out to dinner and then hit the grocery store late to avoid the crowds.
If grocery shopping isn’t your thing, hit up instacart to get your stuff delivered, and just find other ways to hang out instead! Go to the gym together and get a workout in, or take the dogs for a walk outside to get some exercise! Grab a bottle of wine and knock out your meal prep for the week together. Heck, sit on the couch and have a lazy day together! It’s all about finding time for each other and enjoying the little things, so do whatever works best for you!
Communicate and Compromise
Working night shift doesn’t mean it always has to be you bending over backwards to make time for your relationship. Any good relationship requires teamwork and compromise, so your honey should be willing to flex for your scheduled a little too! My boyfriend and I usually sleep opposite hours which is annoying because I’m a stage 5 clinger who loves to snuggle. When I’m working weekend shifts and he’s off, he’ll usually stay up a little later at night so he can sleep in with me when I get home from work. It’s a little thing, but it’s nice for me not to be the only one switching my sleep schedule like crazy just to make sure we can hang out.
It’s important to communicate with your SO and let them know what you’re feeling and how you think you can work together to make your relationship a priority! There’s definitely a learning curve to making life and relationships work on night shift. Everyone is different and it’s important to figure out what works best for you so that you both feel like you’re getting enough time together even while working totally opposite schedules.
I hope this helps to ease your anxiety about making your relationship work even while on opposite schedules. It sometimes takes a little extra coordination, but it’s 100% doable! Drop me a comment and let me know your favorite ways to prioritize your relationship, even if you’re working the same schedule! Bonus points if you drop a fun date idea, I’m always looking for new fun things to do!
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